


What If The Oh'Holy Water Missed?

by SinScrivener



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 23:14:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21044390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinScrivener/pseuds/SinScrivener
Summary: A few folks on Tumblr wondered what would happen if the Holy Water MISSED, or hit CROWLEY?Whelp here we are~





	1. Worse Than A DEMON!!!!

Before going through the final door in Crowley's flat, Hastur stopped swiftly, clasping tightly to Ligurs larger shoulder, the other pausing with a small hiss.

"I smell somethe'n.." Hastur whispered harshly into Ligurs ear, Ligur in return kicked over a potted plant to quiet their words, act like they were now just destroying things in his flat-

"Whats'the smell Smell like, Hast?" Ligur whispered through his teeth back as Hastur threw a clump of soil through the air and nailed the tv and made it crash.

"Somethe'n… Holy and wrong.."

"Crawley… You don't think?"

Hastur hissed, sniffing through ALL of himself as his respective creature could and spat out a lungie, voice darker than dark, "Somehow he has!"

Ligurs bewitching eyes shifted to a demonic red, his teeth growing sharp, drool dripping as he growled in an inhuman manor, "That's PAST even a Demon though!"

Hasturs hand released Ligurs shoulder, nails long and dripping some kind of toxic fluid, his voice cold and savage, eyes fully black now as he snarled at the half opened door- "He ain't'a Demon no more!"

Slowly, creeping along, voices calling out again for Crawley, Hastur nodded with his head to the broken pot to the side, Ligur looked and noticed still filled smashed potted plant and heaved it easily over his head, Hastur yowling like a banshee as the potted plant slammed against the door, smashing into pieces then, to their Demonic eyes, watched as the plants resting place before them suddenly, veeeery WET!

The two Demons stayed watching as a red bucket slid to a stop by a no longer cool looking Crowley, his face now paler than normal. 

"You were right, Hastur, you were riiiiight-" Ligur hissed the two Demons growling as they stared at Crowley who got up slowly from his office chair.

"Fellas.. now listen.."

He was stopped with a harsh slash to the back of his head by Hastur, getting into the office without touching the wet Holy Water upon the floor by the door, Ligur punching Crowley in the gut as he too found a way into the office, the mister in his hand just dropped and toppled to the floor. 

Crowley felt suddenly sick, the slash dripping not just with blood but the fluid from Hasturs claws, the toxins running through his veins at a rapid rate, the added adrenaline from his failed trap and the retaliation of the Dukes of Hell, his body crumpling him into a paralyzed ball, unable to react as Hastur and Ligur snatched him up by the shoulders and wrenched him upwards voices harsh, dripping, demonic, "That's wrong even for a Demon, Crawley!"

"Your fate will be whispered by mothers in dark places to frighten their young!"

"Waaaas it worth it, Craaaawley?" Ligur whispered into the half there Demon in his arms.

"That scaaared of us, eyyy Crawley?" Hastur sneered and shook him a bit, sloshing the toxins around via movement.

"Your going to regret even bothering to try and fight back now Craaawley!"

"Lord Beelzebub surely will have a Demon put aside for yoooou when they find out what you tried to dooo~"

"Especially to their two high ranking DUKES!"

"Shall we Lig?"

"Maybe give this place some liiight before we leave, Hast!"

Hastur cackled like a crazy hyena and burst himself into a flurry of Hell Fire then sent it blazing outward with his hands, anything it touched before it landed melted the rest burning up in an unhealthy light.

Ligur forced Crowley to watch as everything he'd known in his human based life burn, Ligur himself roaring in approval to Hasturs actions, the other dancing and clapping as his work spread fast before slinking over towards Crowley and hissed into Crowley's ear, "You fucked up~ Ooooh you fucked up~"

Then, in a blast of his own Hell Fire, Ligur dragged himself, Hastur, and Crowley back into Hell where indeed, Lord Beelzebub had SOMETHING put aside for him when he arrived and his deeds had been recounted by their two high ranking Dukes.


	2. A Worthy Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few folks on Tumblr wondered what would happen if the Holy Water MISSED, or hit CROWLEY?
> 
> Whelp here we are~

They showed up earlier than expected.

Crowley wasn't even finished with his trap!

They caught him mid act, everyone stunned still as deer in headlights!

"Ummm… Hi.." Crowley spoke slowly as his cover was blown right out of the water, literally, glove handed and everything!

"Was'that?" Ligur asked sharply, Hastur sniffing the air and screeched as it hit his hard palate and soft palate and not just his nose, "HOLY WATER!?"

Ligur rose an arm to block Hastur, Hastur clutching Ligur, bodies braced, eyes ever watching the snake like Demons moves.

"It's not what you think, fellas… Its for… The AntiChrist!" He spoke in his cool manor, smiling cheerfully at the two male Demons keeping each other safe. 

"Oi, it is ey?"

Crowley's smile dropped like a lead balloon, nooot the right choice of words…

"I mean… F..or him t...o…"

"Soooo, you wanna kill our Master's son, ey?" Ligur whispered harshly, Hastur piping in sneering, "So you knew Warlock wasn't him all along too?"

Crowley's eyes even behind the sunglasses widened as he asked quickly, "Warlock… Wh...ere.."

"Is he," Hastur snickered and said, head upon Ligurs shoulder, all 'sad' and 'forlorn', "It was 'orrible, just siiiimple tragic! He screamed as his mum and da were killed~ His lost little eyes, alllll teary, big, scared!"

"No, Hastur… Hastur… PLEASE NO!"

Ligur spoke for Hastur, eyes vivid blood red, "Ooooh Hastur, yeeees~"

"The boy cried for mercy, BEGGED, tried confirming HE was our Master's son after all~" Hasturs dark as pitch eyes narrowed as he whispered, "How dumb do you all think I am?"

Ligur pat the others face gently and finished for his partner, "Hastur only so gladly proved the boy wasn't our Master's son, haha, fist into his little chest, burst into flames with a scream of pain soooo delicious~"

Crowley shook, slipping to the floor, knocking into his desk as he did so, clutching his chest, tears streaming from his face as the little boy he and Aziraphale had helped raise… Their Godson…. Their… Son…

In swift, blurry succestions, Ligur snatched the tongs Crowley had held the thermos with, flung them sideways and knocked into the red bucket upon his desk.

Crowley watched in slow, painful motion as the bucket slowly tipped his way, the Holy Water spilling out slowly, memories of Warlock and him flashing through his mind before the death of the Water came.

He, Aziraphale, and Warlock taking a walk through the park, picnics, lullabies, those smiles, those hugs…

Crowley's phone rang and caught Aziraphales words of, 'I found the AntiChrist-' echoed off the clean walls loud and clear!

As Crowley screamed in pain, trying hard to fight the buckets suck upon it, he knew Ligur and Hastur stood watching in glee as they puzzled through all they'd just learned and fell backwards, gasping until the air came no more as his whole self became a black smudge upon his once pristine office floor.

Smirking as they watched the quivers and shakes before his decorperation, Hastur and Ligur figured out not only a way to get around killing a fellow Demon, aside from being Dukes, but the tongs had been meant to knock CROWLEY out only to smack the bucket filled with it and dare not touch it as it fell, said bucket anyway they'd say was meant for one if not both of them anyway!

As the body once known as Crowley fizzled out, both Dukes sneered at one another and hissed one after the other, "Off to our Master's son, Hast?" 

"Off to our Master's son, Lig~" And in a puff of dark smoke, the two vanished towards where Aziraphale had openly told Crowley as he suffered from the fate of his deeeeearest Warlock~


	3. What If?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few folks on Tumblr wondered what would happen if the Holy Water MISSED, or hit CROWLEY?
> 
> Whelp here we are~

Hastur was always more careless when excited about getting someone-Be it Lurking or Tempting, but he was sometimes careless…

This was his undoing..

As he and Ligur smashed through Crowley's flat, seeking out the traitor their Lord Beelzebub told them to collect, Hastur reached Crowley's office door first-

The bucket hit him quicker, he was much taller then Ligur..

The screams of pain that escaped his mouth rattled Ligur into a bellow of shouts-

The lanky skinny Demon tried beyond anything to get the bucket off, it melting to his head before he could achieve this useless feat and crashed bodily into the wall, fell sideways upon said wall, and left a pile of greenish yellow stained clothes behind-

The amount of hate and pain in Ligurs roars shook Crowley from his office chair, his trap quickly becoming a HUGE mistake as the dark skinned Demon rushed forward, through the small droplets of Holy Water and tore out the other Demons throat as he cried, "YOU BASTARD! YOU ABSOLUTE BASTARD!!! HE NEVER DONE NOTHEN TO YOU!!!!"

SMASH, SMASH, SMASH-

Crowley's head was sent into the wall, smashed into it even when the brick foundation broke through, no, once Ligur felt the hard brick below his bloody hands, he went faster and harder, crying loudly, "BAAAASTARRD!!!"

He dug his sharp dirty nails into the others face, said face now more so a pulp of its former redhead.

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth-

His hands were empty of Crowley's head, no, he was smashing himself into the wall now, still screaming, only seeing red, completely gone from this plane of existence!

Armageddon had begun but at what cost-?


End file.
